Building Environments

Hey Dad, thanks for joining in on the conversation today! I am patterning our conversations for the next few Wednesdays after Jill's book "My Heart's at Home." Her book gives a vision for moms and dads in the types of environments we build in creating healthy homes. I have found for many of us dads, our hearts are in the marketplace or anywhere but home. 

One environment we cooperatively build in our homes is that of a safe house.  When home is a safe house, it provides a foundation of safety  in family relationships. This safety is what is needed  for us to securely and intimately attach to those closest to us. A safe house is one where we and our kids can make mistakes, find successes, develop emotionally and mentally and discover who we were created to be. In the Savage's Safe House we have these environment builders in place.

1) Respect is Required. Respect is the cornerstone of a safe family.When our thoughts, feelings, emotions and person is respected, we feel secure.

2) Grace and Forgiveness is Practiced. There is nothing better in the world than to be celebrated for who you are. The natural place for this to happen is within the family home. Yet, when we live closely with other people, it becomes easy to criticize each other's shortcomings rather them to celebrate our differences. Dad's we can train our kids in forgiveness and grace, as well as healthy conflict resolution skills. Alongside of training them is the priority that we are pracrticing these skills ourself.

3) Listen Intentionally. I have found it so easy to nod and groan as if I am listening and honestly I didn't hear a word that was being said. Jill and I have worked hard over the years to stop what we are doing and to listen with our eyes.

4) Make Failure Safe. Everyone of us will fail.  Many of us have never been trained to "fail" well. Our identity is not in what we do, it is in who we are in Christ. Yet, when we don't get that truth, failure becomes an issues of identity.  Dad's we can help our kids navigate failure and learn from it.

Dad, how are you at cooperatively building environments? How about this environment of safe house? Did you have that in your home(s) where your grew up? Let's talk about this!

Mark